Not that it seems to matter anymore, but on Comedy Central's spoofy new series, "Straight Plan for the Gay Man,'' there's a whole lot of nothin' going on. However, the show does fill up the air space between the program that precedes it and the one that follows, and that tends to suffice these days.
The origin is obvious: Bravo's successful if shamelessly repetitious "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,'' a contrived romp in which a group of New York's most outgoing gay men run around giving advice to some of New York's sloppiest and least style-conscious straight men. The show is the biggest hit Bravo's ever had; hence, Comedy Central introduces its cockamamie copy, premiering tonight at 10.
"Queer Eye'' gets by on the sarcastic, campy remarks made by the gay guys as they confront tacky apparel or gauche decor as if those were crimes against humanity. Unfortunately, one of the alleged gay things that straight men apparently don't do is make sarcastic, campy remarks -- at least not the straight men rounded up by the producers of this show.
Advertisement
There is lots of good-natured smirking at heterosexual stereotypes and what constitutes being a truly manly man in today's society. But the stereotypes have already been mocked so often that even parodies of the stereotype are stereotypes in themselves. And the traits are so trite: Straight men like to live amid dirt and filth, are by nature compulsively combative, and generally tend to be living, belching evidence that Darwin was right.
Of course this is ridiculous, but it's amazing how many sitcoms and commercials still depend on the stereotype for laughs. "Straight Plan'' does the same old thing, only without setting any new high-water marks in hilarity.
In the premiere, the happy heteros, who drive around New York in a black Dodge Ram pickup truck (license plate STR8-4U), descend upon their first willing victim, a fairly swishy fellow named Jonathan who works in the fashion industry. It looks from the get-go as though "Straight Plan'' will equate gayness with effeminacy, which as most people know by now is inaccurate -- but anything for a joke, or an attempt at a joke, at Comedy Central.
Advertisement
The goal is to alter the habits and characteristics of the gay man so effectively that he'll be able to work in a meatpacking plant and pass himself off as straight. Why this would necessitate remodeling his apartment (downward, in the direction of a Neanderthal cave) is a mystery, except that they redo living spaces on "Queer Eye'' so they do it here. The delicately decorated place becomes the proverbial pigsty, replete with food on the floor, a "beer tap'' next to the water faucet, and the Lalique crystal fish hidden away in a closet.
Share this articleShareAs for Jonathan's daily behavior, the straight guys have plenty of advice on walking the walk and talking the talk. Jonathan trades his designer duds for used clothing from the Salvation Army store, goes bowling with the gang and, at a shooting range, learns the joy of "firing a gun for no reason at all.''
There are funny moments. As the straight men take their shots with the .44 magnum, they each shout out a macho line from an action movie -- "Yippee-ki-yay'' from "Die Hard'' or "I expect you to die'' from "Goldfinger'' or a Samuel L. Jackson rant from "Pulp Fiction.'' Then comes Jonathan. He shouts out "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn'' from "Gone With the Wind.'' Told that won't quite cut it, he comes up with "Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy night,'' the famous Bette Davis announcement from "All About Eve.''
Advertisement
The straight guys jeer. "Well, you can't get any tougher than Bette Davis,'' Jonathan retorts. Earlier, he assures Bob, one of the straight men, "I'd never be caught dead in bed with you,'' to Bob's professed relief. But by the end of the show, Bob's still thinking about it and asks Jonathan, "Do you really not find me attractive?" Comedy Central plans three editions of the show with the option for more if it does well. But by the end -- no, the middle -- of the first episode, the joke is already stretched thinner than Calista Flockhart at an ashram. The bowling alley or the shooting range would provide much more satisfying ways of wasting time than "Straight Plan for the Gay Man'' does.
Nothing to get het up about: Jonathan Schneider, left, agrees to a straight makeover in Comedy Central's "Straight Plan for the Gay Man."Gay-male stereotype Jonathan Schneider gets a makeover from the straight-male stereotypes of Comedy Central's "Straight Plan for the Gay Man": From left, Billy Merritt, Curtis Gwinn, Kyle Grooms and Rob Riggle.
ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7uK3SoaCnn6Sku7G70q1lnKedZK6zr8eirZ5nnJ6zpr%2FTsqOeZ2JlfXV7j2tma2tfqMGzrcign61loKGur3nMmqWlsV2usrR5xa6lp7Fdo7xwfZWam2pxlJZ6pLLCnGRtmmluenp%2FkZ1kaXFnZ312fsOenHCdXw%3D%3D